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“He wants me to accept his kids but doesn’t accept mine”: The Blind Spot

By Katlego Sekhu

Photo by Diva Plavalaguna: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-walking-away-from-a-man-5711430/

In The Blindspot this week anonymous has a huge dilemma. Her current partner wants them to move in together and wants to bring his kids along. However, he doesn’t want Anonza’s child in the home.

“About a year and a half ago I met a brother who treats me very well. Everything is all sweet, vanilla and roses. We are planning on moving together. However, he has two daughters from a previous relationship. One is his and the other is from an ex.

“I don’t have a problem with that, I have a son from a previous relationship. But, my partner has made it very clear that he doesn’t want us to move in with my son. However, I should accept that he will be moving in with me and his daughters.

“I told him it is not going to work. Rather we live in two separate places. It’s a bit off for me. Kindly help me out. What Blindspot am I missing here?

Advising Anonymous, one listener says ‘the guy is problematic.’

“I don’t know what the lady needs help with because the writing is on the wall. How can this person expect her to move in with him and leave the child behind? It’s very problematic. If he loves you then he must love you with your child.”

Another listener says certain things are non-negotiable.

“Let’s use common sense here. If she leaves her child behind to be a mother to someone else’s kids, then what must happen to her child? If he can’t love her with her baggage then he must go.”

Over the last couple of years, we’ve seen an increase in the percentage of couples entering new relationships and marriages with children from previous relationships.  Hence blended families are on the rise.

In 2016 Sats SA reported that 55,0% of the 25 326 divorces involved people with children younger than 18 years. This means that there’s a higher chance of parents remarrying with children who are still very young.

Read Next: Co-parenting: The challenges of raising kids together

Written by: Katlego



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