Katlego Sekhu

A listener shares that she and her husband are going through a divorce, and while she doesn’t want to be the primary caregiver for their children, she feels ashamed to admit it.
According to the listener, her husband was controlling throughout their marriage, restricting her freedom and preventing her from living life on her own terms.
Now, she sees the divorce as an opportunity to start over and rediscover who she is outside of being a wife and full-time mother.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous is seeking guidance and wants to know if there are any blind spots she might be overlooking.
“After 10 years of marriage, my husband and I are going through a divorce. Throughout our marriage, he never wanted me to work, didn’t allow me to go out without him, controlled the finances, and I often felt trapped.
“Last year, I made a firm decision to take control of my life – I found myself a job. That didn’t sit well with him, and that’s what ultimately triggered the divorce. To be honest, I’m okay with it. I’ve come to see how controlling he was, and because we married young, I thought that kind of relationship was normal.
“While I feel free and even relieved, I’m facing a dilemma: I don’t want to be the primary caregiver for our two kids. I haven’t had the courage to say it out loud, but deep down, I want to reclaim my life and rediscover the woman in me. I love my kids dearly, but for the past decade, being a wife and full-time mother is all I’ve known – and I’m longing for a break.
“Would I be wrong to voice out that he should take the kids? I feel like having them with me full-time will hamper me from starting over. Does that make me a selfish mother for wanting freedom after years of being emotionally caged? Will I regret this, or is it okay to choose what will bring me happiness? What might be my blind spot in all this?”
Listen to the podcast for the full discussion.
#TheBlindSpot
— #MothoWaBatho (@tboseZA) June 26, 2025
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