Couples across the country are getting ready for that life-long commitment down the aisle; but they are all have stories of their different approaches.
For instance, the moment where families are notified that a weeding is on the horizon, or a letter of intent has been sent. Many couple have opted to just get engaged, then later let the parents know. Some men prefer to let the woman’s father know of their intentions before the engagement.
It’s always important to play your cards right in this formative stage of your union with your partner. If your partner has more traditional parents, they may be offended if they aren’t asked for their blessing.
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Thomas and Skhumba wanted to know from Kaya 959 listeners if the letter of intent sent to the girl’s family was enough and whether letting the woman’s parents is common practice:
Listen to the full conversation here:
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Though marriage differs from couple to culture, there’s one common agreement that the union is a symbolic joining of two families, Kaya 959 listeners have some views of whether the parents should be told before it is official.
Yes, my husband first spoke to my father and told my dad he wished to marry me. My dad gave him his blessing. He then proceeded to ask his father to write a letter on his behalf. A letter was then sent and lobola negotiations started. Got my ring after lobola was concluded.
— Zaneleintombi (@Zaneleintombi1) October 5, 2021
One of many reasons why imitshato emininzi have problems zongalasti is because your ancestors do not know that either of you is married, you never asked for permission and that union ayaziwa ngabaphansi #ThomasAndSkhumba
— Mntano Mntlane (@LMkonqo) October 5, 2021
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Thomas and Skhumba: To ask or not to ask your partner’s parents permision for a her hand in marriage Zuko
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Thomas and Skhumba: To ask or not to ask your partner’s parents permision for a her hand in marriage Zuko
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play_arrow
Thomas and Skhumba: To ask or not to ask your partner’s parents permision for a her hand in marriage Zuko


