When your partner embarrasses you in public or on social media

By: Natasha Archary

The President’s childish reaction to King Charles III greeting him in various African languages has raised the topic about embarrassing behaviours in public and on social media.

With ‘Ramafoza’s’ reaction to the King’s greeting becoming a viral talking point across the country, Sizwe Dhlomo asked people how they handle when their partner embarrasses them in public or on social media.

Mbali Dhlamini says her partner likes busting out the “white people” dance moves when they’re out and about and it makes her cringe.

“What do you call these moves, the lawnmower and the robot? It’s the popping and locking moves, and sometimes he’ll just break them out when we’re in a mall and I can’t deal with it.”

Despite her relationship being in its infancy stage, Keneiloe Huma has a few ‘no-no’s’ for her person to never attempt in public or a social setting with friends.

“I just don’t like guys who go out of their way to prove they’re a nice guy. Like you know that guy who if he’s getting you a drink then he’s like asking your friends too? Or if someone wants to sit and there’s no chair, he’ll like volunteer to go find a chair, no, I don’t like those ice-boy tendencies.”

Listen to the conversation on Kaya Drive:

Baby you’re embarrassing me!

Social psychologists from Duke University say there’s an emotional response when a spouse or partner embarrasses you in public.

According to the experts however, a person’s embarrassment is often exaggerated because one might over-estimate a third party noticing your partner embarrassing you in public.

Judging from some the responses from Kaya Drive listeners, many have experienced first-hand embarrassment at the expense of their partners.

From the husband who cries in public after their football team loses, to the ‘classists’ who can’t stand it when their significant other attempts to speak English and struggles, people’s tolerance of their partners are evidently wearing thin.

As Sizwe Dhlomo pointed out, a lot of the listeners complaints bordered around etiquette issues which are generally considered rude to do in public. Things like digging their nose in public and being oblivious that someone has noticed.

Quite a few of the listeners said they have broken up with their partners because of such embarrassing habits.

Before you react to your partner embarrassing you in public or social media, take note of the 4 types of embarrassment:

1. Empathic Embarrassment:

This is when your partner trips and falls as the two of you walk into a party. It’s unintentional, but you might feel a little embarrassed due to their little accident.

2. Reflective Embarrassment:

This is when your partner does something you find humiliating like when they yell at the waiter for taking too long with your food.

3. One-Sided Embarrassment:

This is when your partner does something and you’re mortified but they think it’s totally fine and you should cool out. You know, like when they think it’s fun to break dance at your nephew’s wedding or wear a onesie out to dinner.