The Kaya 959 breakfast team unpacks the realities of dating after 40, non-negotiables, and the myth that older women are desperate for love
By Mapaballo Borotho
There are many things that become harder to attain as we grow older. Whether it’s power, money or even good health, certain aspects of our lives become more challenging with age.
But is love one of them? Could the rumours and stereotypes be true that it becomes more difficult to find love after 40?
Dating can be a nightmare, but it can also be wonderful. No one is ever too old to find love, and everyone deserves to be loved.
DJ Fresh and Thato discussed how turning 40 is inevitable, saying that no matter how many lessons you learn in life, 40 will still be waiting for you.
One piece of advice for anyone over 40 re-entering the dating scene
“If you are going to re-enter the dating game, let the person you are talking to see your routine and find out whether they can fit into it, so that we agree that if you cannot fit into this routine, then it will not work,” said Fresh.
He mentioned that his non-negotiables include the routine that he has with his children.
“I am not compromising on the routine with my kids. I am not going to miss a school drop-off because we have to go out for tea.”
Thato added that having non-negotiables naturally limits the dating pool.
The Kaya 959 Breakfast duo also spoke to the founder of the Saved & Single movement, Melo Be Great, who recently turned 40 and jokingly considers herself the spokesperson for 40-year-olds.
She is also the founder of a community for single people over 40 who are saved and refusing to settle.
Melo believes people should first take time to work on themselves before involving someone else in their lives. She said entering a relationship while you are still emotionally “a mess” is selfish.
Are people over 40 desperate to find love?
Melo also addressed a controversial topic that continues to divide opinions: Are divorced women over 40 with children desperate to find love?
Many people believe that women in this position are more likely to settle for any partner because they are desperate.
Melo rejected that idea.
“I am not desperate, and a lot of women who are over 40 still have people who are interested in them, especially younger guys. There’s this belief that women lose value as they grow older, which is not true because, like fine wine, women only get better,” she said.
Listen to the podcast for the full conversation…
READ NEXT: WATCH: Standout moments from DJ Fresh and Thato Mataboge’s first Kaya Breakfast show
