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‘I’m fighting for my health, but my husband still expects intimacy’ – The Blind Spot

Katlego Sekhu

'I'm fighting for my health, but my husband still expects intimacy’ – The Blind Spot
Image: rawpixel.com

A listener shared that over the last few months, her health has deteriorated, and she has been in and out of the hospital.

She says her husband has been supportive, but whenever she shows even the smallest signs of getting better, he is quick to ask for intimacy.

At this stage, she feels she is not ready, and the lack of intimacy is beginning to affect her marriage. She has even found herself thinking about suggesting that he find someone else.

Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous wants to know whether there are any blind spots she might be overlooking.

“My health has been failing me since last year. I’m in and out of the hospital, and even on my “good days,” I’m just functioning – not healed. But the moment my husband sees me up and doing small things, he assumes I’m back to normal and expects “Bedroom Olympics”.

“He has never forced himself on me, but I’m the one feeling the pressure. I love him, yet my body is tired, weak, and unpredictable. The moment he sees me up on my feet, maybe washing a few dishes or cooking something small, he assumes l’m back to normal and ready for intimacy. I’ve explained to him that being able to move around doesn’t mean l’m 100%. It just means I’m trying to function.

“When I am not well, he is there with me, making sure I am comfortable and well cared for. It is the guilt that is eating me alive. I feel like I’m failing him as a wife, even though l’m barely holding myself together. Lately, l’ve even caught myself thinking: Should I tell him to find someone else? Someone who can give him what I can’t right now? I know it sounds extreme, but that’s how hopeless and exhausted I’ve been feeling. Uncle T, am I thinking clearly? Or is this just the desperation of being sick and overwhelmed? How do I ask for understanding without feeling like a burden in my own marriage?”

To hear the full Blind Spot, listen to the podcast.

READ NEXT: Kaya 959 celebrates two wins at the Telkom 2025 Radio Awards

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