By: Natasha Archary
Buying a house can be a stressful process but when you’re house hunting as a couple, the difference in opinions takes the stress to new highs.
A listener reached out to Siz and the team with her house hunting dilemma. The woman and her husband are currently looking for a home but they are not seeing eye to eye and it is challenging their relationship.
She wants a modern double-storey house but her husband wants something smaller. Their tastes differ in terms of decor as well and they’re at a stalemate and nowhere near settling on a home.
By now, Kaya Drive listeners will know Sizwe Dhlomo’s view on the issue is as simple as “Happy wife, happy life!”
The traditional radio host shared his dad’s advice to him with listeners regarding buying a house.
“Don’t ever buy a house or build a house until you find a wife. If you do this your wife will never feel like it’s her home. You must build it according to her specifications or bought based on her instructions.” Dhlomo senior shared with his son.
Heeding his dad’s sage advice, Sizwe took his partner’s wants and needs into consideration when designing his home. His girlfriend shared her preferences with him but understanding her tastes helped him create their perfect home.
Many of the Kaya Drive listeners agreed and echoed that the man provides but it’s the woman’s role to turn that house into a home.
One listener said as the man of the house his role is to ensure that the house and location works for his family. The final decision falls on the “queen” of the house and she has final say.
A few women said while the sentiment is admirable, it’s as much a man’s home and a compromise should be reached.
Before house hunting couples should have a conversation about their expectations, budget and make a pro/con list.
How to start? Ask questions like:
- Why do you want to buy a house?
- What’s the most important thing to consider, in your opinion?
- How long do you want to live there?
- Do you want something perfect or a fixer-upper?
- What do you think our budget should be?
Making separate must-have lists can help break the stalemate. Do your best to take emotions out of the equation and look at the facts.
Your monthly payments should be no more than 25% of net salary. Veto any home that doesn’t fall within that price range. Don’t get caught up imagining holidays and family gatherings in a huge, extravagant kitchen. A forever home won’t be yours forever if it’s out of your price range.