Katlego Sekhu
A listener shares how she and her sister were raised under very different circumstances after the loss of their parents. While she was raised by an uncle and was unable to complete her studies because of financial difficulties, her sister was raised by their grandmother and had access to a quality education.
Today, her sister is financially secure, happily married and doing well in life. Recently, the listener was offered a job but did not have enough money to cover transport costs to and from work until she received her first salary. When she approached her sister for help, she was met with several reasons why lending the money was not possible.
Anonymous feels deeply disappointed by the one person she believed would be there for her in a moment of genuine need. She says she fully intended to repay the money as soon as she got paid. Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, she wants to know whether there are any blind spots she may be overlooking.
“Uncle T, my sister and I lost our parents when we were young, and our lives took very different paths. I was raised by an uncle, while she stayed with our grandmother. I tried to further my studies after matric, but financial difficulties forced me to drop out. Since then, life has been a constant struggle of temporary jobs while raising my two children.
“My sister, on the other hand, completed her studies, built a successful career and has been financially stable for more than a decade. She’s married, has children and I’m genuinely proud of everything she has achieved. The problem is that I’ve never really felt like I could rely on her. I don’t ask her for money, and I’ve always carried my own burdens. But last month, I was offered a year-long contract position that could finally help me get back on my feet. The only thing standing in my way was transport money to get started.
“For the first time in years, I asked my sister for help. I explained that I wasn’t looking for a handout and that I would pay her back as soon as I received my first salary. She never directly said no, but after a long explanation, it became clear that she wasn’t going to help.
“What broke me wasn’t the money. It was the feeling that when I genuinely needed my sister, she wasn’t there. Especially because I’ve seen her help friends, relatives and other people over the years.
“I know I’ve made mistakes. Raising two children while struggling financially hasn’t been easy. But I don’t drink, party or waste money. I work hard and do my best for my children every day. I feel let down. Can someone care deeply about you and still refuse to help you financially? If family isn’t obligated to help you when you’re struggling, what does being family actually mean? And if an opportunity could change your life, and you need a little push to get there, who else besides family should you turn to?”
To hear the full Blind Spot, listen to The Best T in the City podcast.
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