Katlego Sekhu

A concerned father recently reached out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, seeking advice on how to handle a delicate situation involving his daughter. The father received a lobola letter from his daughter’s boyfriend a few months ago, requesting her hand in marriage. However, the father believes that his daughter is not yet ready for marriage and needs more time to mature and develop.
“A few months ago, we received a lobola letter from my daughter’s boyfriend. My immediate response was no, because she is only 23 years old and still at school. Secondly, I have never approved of the boyfriend, who is 32 years old. Lastly, they have only been dating for a year. When the letter arrived, I sat my daughter and my wife down and explained to them why I could not allow her to get married so young without having completed her studies.
“Also, my daughter is still 100% reliant on us financially, and I fear that if she gets married right now, she will have to fully rely on her husband financially. My daughter has threatened that if I do not approve of the letter, she’ll go van n sit with the guy. Should I just let her be, even though she will not have my full blessing? What could be my blind spot?
Anonymous
Weighing in on this layered blind spot, the host, Tbose, suggests that if the boyfriend truly has genuine intentions and wants to spend the rest of his life with her, he should have no issue “waiting for her to complete her studies.”
One listener disagrees with the father’s concerns about his daughter’s age and the age difference between her and her boyfriend. She pleaded for the father to let go and allow his daughter to “marry and grow.”
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