By Wanique Block
One thing that life has taught many of us is that none of us are perfect. We are bound to make mistakes, fail and hurt people. Despite this being an inevitable and obvious part of life, why do we still find it so difficult to apologise?
No one likes to admit when they’re wrong (I get it) and sure apologising essentially means that not only are you vulnerable, but it is also very painful especially if you’re stubborn or scared of rejection.
Despite this, I think it is extremely important to note that apologising and acknowledging when you’re wrong is extremely necessary, especially if you want to foster and build long lasting, healthy and safe relationships and communities.
Like many of us, our parents, aunts, uncles and grandparents often struggle with apologising when they’re wrong. Not because they don’t want to but because they either don’t know how to, or because they’ve never been taught or encouraged to apologise to anyone younger than them.
As opposed to verbal communication some might apologise by spoiling you with gifts or acts of service.
On Feel Good with Andy Maqondwana, Andy asks listeners if they have ever received an apology from their parents and whether or not they apologise to their own kids.
In a voice note, one listener shares how he always makes sure to apologise to his kids despite disciplining them.
“I try my best to apologise to my kids. They’re very young, 9 and 10 years old. Yes, I reprimand my kids but I also make sure to explain why I reprimand them and then apologise to them”.
Nomthandaza explains how her mother once refused to apologise to her, despite being in the wrong.
“My mom would blame the devil! I remember one time my mom misplaced her R100, and then blamed my brother and I. After finding her R100, she refused to apologise to us”.
Another listener retells how her mother never necessarily apologised with words but apologised with her actions.
“Parents and apologies how does one start this conversation? I don’t even think they know how to spell apology”.
She continues: “When I was young, my moms way of apologising was when you all of a sudden saw a R5 in your room or when she baked. Me on the other hand, I find myself apologising to my son a lot. It’s not easy but I’m learning”.
For more on this listen to the Feel Good podcast with Andy Maqondwana:
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