By Motlagae Konyana
When is it the right time to have the money talk with your significant other? After a month of being together? Or just after you have asked the other to help you financially? What if the relationship is not serious enough as yet do you still need to have the money talk? And what happens if you are in a situationship? Does that couple still need to discuss finances and whose finances do you discuss first? Does the other partner have to have a job to discuss finances?
These are some of the questions that one might ask regarding “when is the right time to talk about my money with him?”
The money talk is inevitable in any long-term relationship, especially when the couple has different attitudes towards money. The lucky ones are able to reconcile their differences early and work out a compromise. After six months being in a relationship you can surely tell your partners’ spending patterns and what you can’t tolerate with their spending ways.
Morever, many couples avoid the conversation only to discover over time that one person wants to spend more than the other or even spend money that they don’t have. This could cause a strain in the relationship. Here are some of the guidelines that could help you start the money talk with your partner.
Observe their spending
Early in the relationship, observe your partner’s spending habits – without being judgetmental. If you’ve been observant and have tried to understand your partner’s attitude towards money and spending habits, it will help you ease into a conversation about money without difficulty – you don’t want to bring up the conversation prematurely and too early in the relationship.
Talk about your financial goals and values as a couple
Everyone has goals and values when it comes to money, but they’re not examined. This is one of the mistakes couples make at the beginning of a relationship, as one person might want to be frugal in order to save for future goals, while the other might like to spend and enjoy things now, while the getting is good. Talking about your values and goals about money is pivotal as it will be easy to examine the other personr’s financial goals.
Approach the discussion calmly
Ensure that you are not emotional when discussing money and remain calm – remember to not judge. Being emotional may result in the other partner feeling like they are being attacked.
Set a system
Establish a system for your finances that works for the both of you, this system should also be in line with your financial goals as a couple to avoid misunderstandings in the future.
Eunice Sibiya , the Head of Consumer Education at First Nation Bank, believes that there isn’t necessarily a “right” time to speak to your partner about their finances “There are no set guidelines as to when can you speak to your siginficant other about finances, but the sooner the better”