By: Natasha Archary
Nothing prepares you for the terrible twos. The parenting conundrum that gives every unsuspecting parent a reality check out of the blue.
One minute you’re enjoying a precious moment with your toddler, the next it’s all ending in tears and screams. The reason for the meltdown can’t be found in parenting manuals because every toddler has their own unique triggers.
Ward off the “fearsome foursome” as some would say. Every parent knows that there are four checks to be made regularly to ensure crabbiness is kept at bay. They are:
- Hunger
- Boredom
- Fatigue
- Overstimulation
Toddlers have a limited attention span and it’s important to get them on a routine schedule as quickly as possible. Timeous tracking of their meals, snacks, learning and sleep patterns will ease your parenting problems.
No matter how meticulously you try to avoid them, a tantrum or two is bound to occur and these are some of the ways you can parent through the terrible twos.
Understand it’s not personal
They’re not acting out to get back at you. Take a minute between the madness to understand that their feelings of frustration are genuine and treat them as such. It’s important to respect your child, in the same way that you command their respect, know that it’s a two-way street. Count to ten to calm and remind yourself that he or she is clearly upset.
Treat every outburst seriously
Yes, children need boundaries. They also need a parent/s they can trust and you have to be just that.
As trivial as the reason for the meltdown is – the wrong coloured sippy-cup, their favourite episode of Paw Patrol ending, gogo pinching their cheeks – it’s important you acknowledge their feelings.
“I know you’re upset, I understand. You feel sad or angry. It’s okay. Feel what you need to,” goes a long way in reassuring them that their feelings are valid.
Don’t yell back
Easier said than done when you have a toddler yelling at you from the top of their lungs.
Yelling at a child, triggers a fight or flight response. Alienating them from you as you lose their trust.
Instead of yelling, try to coax them out of the tantrum by encouraging them to sing alone to a song on the radio, play a distracting game of “I spy” or just sit there quietly until it eventually comes to an end.
Keep your cool
Breathe deeply.
Public tantrums are the most difficult, there are judgemental people – who’ve either never had kids or who lie about theirs never breaking down this way – looking at you like you have no clue how to parent.
Don’t break under their gaze. Protect your child and love them harder because in all honesty none of us have this parenting thing locked down. We’re just winging it.
The terrible twos is a difficult period for every parent and child. They’re learning how to communicate in a new way. When they’re babies, all they have to do is cry to get your attention.
Now, that they’re toddlers, and navigating the world with new words and expressions, it’s going to take some getting used to for the both of you.
It may sound completely clichéd right now but it does get easier, once they have the communication barriers locked down and are able to confidently tell you that they dislike everything you just put on their plate.
