By: Natasha Archary
When it comes to raising children, most parents have their insecurities.
These are the four parenting styles that have an impact on your child’s overall development.
The four parenting styles
A 1960’s study by psychologist Diana Baumrind observed and interviewed more than one hundred pre-school children and their parents. The findings formed the foundation of parenting analysis which child development experts still use today.
Taking into consideration communication styles, discipline strategies, implementation and various other criteria, Baumrind suggested that parents displayed three prominent parenting styles. Later research by Maccoby and Martin, identified a fourth approach.
They are the parents who believe children should be seen and not heard. They focus on obedience, punishment and take a ‘my way or the highway’ approach with their methods. They dictate and never take the child’s feelings into consideration.
If you often say any of the following, you’re an authoritarian parent:
“No. Because I said so that’s why.”
“That’s it. We’re not discussing this any further.”
“Well I’m the parent, not you.”
The authoritarian also emphasises punishment instead of reinforcing positive behaviour. They may also become hostile or lose their temper when their parenting decisions are questioned, or the child continues the behaviour they deem unacceptable.
How authoritarian parenting affects the child
Growing up with an authoritarian parent is likely to cause the child to develop a low self-esteem due to their opinions not being valued and their feelings not being validated.
These are parents who put a lot of effort into creating a positive environment for their children. In order to maintain a strong connection with their child, they explain their decisions, rules and what is expected. Before a decision is made, they usually check with the child to make sure he or she is comfortable with the plan.
“I’m thinking about grabbing a pizza for dinner on the way home, would you like that?”
How does this affect the child?
Research shows that children who grow up with authoritative parents are more likely to become adults who feel confident to express their opinions.
They set rules but never enforce them. They give in to their children often, with some even allowing their children to call the shots. If they want something they can’t bring themselves to say no.
If you are a permissive parent you are simply creating an environment that has no boundaries for your child. They will push and pull your levers because they know you will give in.
How this affects the child?
Children grow up to be spoiled and entitled. They feel the world owes them and they don’t need to put in any effort to succeed in life, because mommy or daddy are there to pick up after them.
Children can come across as rude and unfiltered because as a parent you are not instilling positive values and morals and kids will lack the basic human quality, respect.
They are always busy either with work, their social life or they are just too tired to spend time with their child. They could be overwhelmed single parents raising children on their own with no involvement from the other parent.
This parent thinks as long as the child is preoccupied with the latest kiddie’s movie, video game or smart device, they are relieved of parenting duties.
How this affects your child?
Your child grows up feeling neglected. It is as if they don’t matter to you because they feel so detached from you emotionally and sometimes physically.
There are limitations to each parenting style. However, more parents are finding an authoritative parenting style reinforced by a goodness-of-fit parenting practice to be more effective in raising children who are confident, emotionally aware and independent.