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  • keyboard_arrow_rightThe Best T in the City: Lies you need in love…

The Best T in the City: Lies you need in love…

By Katlego Sekhu

No one wants to hear this but lying in relationships is more common than we think.  

In fact, many people don’t even count some of the lies they tell as lies, they call it stretching the truth for the betterment of the relationship. 

“What lies do you need to keep your relationship alive?” Asked Tbose on The Best T in the City this morning.

A listener tells Tbose: “A lie that I tell in the relationship just to maintain the peace and to avoid unnecessary fights is that I’m fine. Even If I know deep down I’m not fine. The minute I’m going to say I’m not fine then we are going to have to unpack whatever is it that has actually made me not be fine. Then it will end up in fights and misunderstandings. So for peace’s sake, most of the time I just say that I’m fine and keep it moving.”

Another listener shares, “At times I tell him that I’m fine when it comes to finances to protect him because sometimes he goes into this deep dark depression.”

Check out some of the reactions on social media:

3TSpoons on We Lie In Relationships:

  • To Avoid Conflict: Partners recognize that fights only make things worse and they fear losing their partner if fights continue. In the middle of a fight, their mind tells them that it would be better to lie than to lose your partner to a fight. The dishonesty is to avoid conflict.  
  • To Protect a Partner – When someone lies due to a desire to protect and not hurt others, they are concerned that if they tell the truth they will cause pain for their significant other. When we cause pain in others, we feel shame and regret. Lying behaviour doesn’t necessarily mean the person is dishonest, they may be concerned at how you may be hurt by the truth.  
  • Because Of Previous Behaviour – you make one little mistake and you feel like you don’t measure up anymore. You feel ashamed. However, you still want to be accepted and not rejected. When you have shame about something you once did, even on a small scale, you are more likely to lie because you want acceptance. 

Read Next: WATCH: ‘The Wife’ actor Bonko Khoza and wife Lesego share their love story on YouTube show ‘Defining Love’

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