By Zuko Komisa
When it comes to how people behave in marriages, there is always that man who will go out of his way to be ‘Mr Nice Guy’.
These are men who live their lives pleasing to others but not to themselves and are said to have nice guy syndrome.
The majority of the time, these guys don’t work to fulfil their needs, which makes them unhappy.
Since the “child” nice guy was raised to act in ways that people wanted or expected rather than as themselves, as an adult they put the needs of others above their own.
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How does this play out in a marriage, when a man is always being “Mr Nice Guy’.
Point of View with Phemelo Motene spoke to marriage counsellors Magauta and Nhlahla Zwane who unpacked whether being a “Mr. Nice Guy’ works well for a marriage.
LISTEN TO THE FULL CONVERSATION HERE:
“Being ‘Mr. Nice Guy’, means you confront nothing in a marriage,”
“Usually this guy is afraid of the truth, and thinks less of himself because of his weaknesses, some of these weaknesses could be genuine weaknesses, while others could be those based on the mistakes this guy has made in past.”
“The third element is the traumas of the past, what I mean is you have experienced an abusive relationship in the past and vowed to yourself that you would never put your future wife through the same thing,” said Nhlanhla and Magauta.
They also gave scenarios of how being a “Mr Nice Guy” plays out in a marriage.
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