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Cheating men – forgive or forget?

By: Natasha Archary


Men and women view cheating differently. Women tend to be more upset about the emotional infidelity than men were, holding their degree of upset about the sexual infidelity constant.

The idea here is that women believe, rightly or wrongly, that men have sexual affairs without emotional attachments but do not have emotional affairs without sexual attachments.

With news of Nigerian artist 2Baba expecting his 6th child outside his marriage breaking, his wife Annie Idibia has said she will stay by her hubby’s side no matter what. 

Sizwe Dhlomo wanted to know when do women decided enough is enough?

2Baba isn’t the only celebrity that comes to mind for putting their partner through the most, as American basketball player, Tristan Thompson is up for the title too. 

Tristan who has been spotted with multiple women since welcoming a second baby with Khloe Kardashian, has also cheated on the mother of his children a number of times. 

Khloe has give Tristan a number of chances to do right by her but this never materialised as he fathered a baby with a woman he had a one-night stand with shortly after reconciling with Khloe. 

Then, there’s Ne-Yo whose wife opened up about him cheating on her for 8-years with multiple women, all unprotected. He’s now welcoming a child with one of the woman. 

When it comes to cheating men, why do women forgive and forget so easily?

Taking an impromptu survey at Kaya 959 brought about mixed reactions to the question. With 56% of women saying cheating under any circumstance is not to be forgiven. It didn’t matter how long the commitment was.

However, 6 of the 12 women who were surveyed, said they would work on their relationship if there were kids involved.

Women are also quicker to forgive sexual infidelity than emotional cheating as opposed to men.

In addition, 9 out of the 12 women who were questioned, the number of times their partner cheated was not a factor. It had more to do with what they had to lose, such as financial stability, a home for the children and family.

“Polygamy is acceptable in most African culture. As women, we understand that there will be other women entering our relationships. Being proud African women, the first partner is always the one who holds her ground, regardless of how many other women there are and how many children our partners have outside of our relationship.”

– Annonymous, 34, mom of three

Is it just sex?

For many women, forgiving their partner’s sexual indiscretions will be considered but the fact that most men cheat and not use protection is unforgivable. 

Not only does this mean that the chances of the man having a baby outside of their marriage or relationship but the husband or boyfriend is putting his partner’s health at risk. 

“Cheating is a conscious choice one makes. You don’t just trip and fall and that’s how you have a baby. No. If you allow the first one then you will keep allowing. The other thing men don’t learn is that most women know exactly what they’re doing too. Even if she is on birth control, to get you they will stop the birth control just so they can fall pregnant.”



Listen to the conversation on Kaya Drive: 

Also read: Point of View: Deal-breakers in a relationship: Are they worth it?

Written by: Natasha

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