Katlego Sekhu
A listener has shared that she and her husband recently had a fallout after she refused to cook at a family gathering.
She says her husband has repeatedly criticised her cooking over the years, which has left her feeling insecure in the kitchen.
Despite this, her husband refuses to understand her perspective and believes she disrespected him in front of his family.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, the anonymous listener is now asking whether there are any blind spots she might be overlooking.
“Ever since I met my husband, he’s joked that I’m not a good cook, constantly comparing me to his mom and sister, saying they’re amazing in the kitchen and that I don’t stand a chance.
“While I’ve usually brushed it off, those comments have always stung. This other weekend, we attended his cousin’s child’s birthday party. I helped with the décor when we arrived and then joined one of his cousins who was doing her makeup. Later, my sister-in-law asked me to come to the kitchen to help cook. I politely declined and, half-jokingly, told her that her brother always says I can’t cook and I’ve become insecure about it.
“She didn’t take it badly at all. In fact, she told my husband and even called him out for making those remarks. But as we left the party, my husband was visibly upset. He said I embarrassed him by not helping and claimed I “can’t take a joke.” I didn’t hold back; I told him his constant teasing had chipped away at my confidence, and I didn’t feel comfortable stepping into a kitchen.
“He called me a crybaby and said that, as makoti, I should have offered to help, not necessarily cook a full meal, but contribute. But I did contribute in other ways. When someone repeatedly puts you down, how are you supposed to show up with confidence? I chose peace over anxiety at that moment. Now he says I made the wrong call. I disagree. Was my move a selfish act or a copout? What could be my blind spot?”
To hear the full blind spot, listen to the podcast.
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