Katlego Sekhu
A conflicted listener has reached out to The Best T in the City, seeking counsel from fellow listeners. Following his divorce, he met a woman whom he claims he is in love with. They’ve been together for less than a year; however, she has given him an altimatum: if he doesn’t propose soon, she will end their relationship.
“I am a 45-year-old man who has been in a relationship with an amazing woman for six months. I am a divorcee, and I have three kids. She has never been married and has no kids. She told me that she was not willing to be in a relationship for over a year without getting married, and I needed to decide if I was going to marry her within the next few months.
“I love her, and she brings out the kid in me. However, I am not sure if a year is enough. Yes, I want to remarry, but I am afraid my girlfriend wants to do it so that she can walk down the aisle. She is 36, and I want to make her happy, but a year seems too soon for me. Should I leave her and not waste her time? Maybe she will find someone who is willing to marry her within a year of dating, or should I stay with her in the hope that she will allow me the time? What could be my blind spot here?”
One listener believes that getting married after just a year is too soon. “A year is too soon. This lady needs to know that it is not easy getting married to someone who has children, which she doesn’t have at the moment. She needs to consider this. It is such a tough journey, and if she is in such a rush, she will turn into a monster in the marriage, and they will be unhappy.”
On the other hand, another listener has a different perspective. “If he really loves the woman, then why wait? A year is enough for them to get to know each other. I don’t see a reason why they should wait. If you love a person, why do you still want to call her a girlfriend instead of a wife?”
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