Katlego Sekhu

A listener shares that she feels her parents have treated her differently compared to her siblings because she is the firstborn.
According to the listener, her brother, who is the second born, received a car when he turned 21, and her younger sister, who is the last born, received a large sum of money on her 21st birthday.
However, when she reached out to her parents for financial assistance, they told her that, as the firstborn, she should make a plan.
Feeling unfairly treated, Anonymous wants to know if there are any blind spots she might be overlooking.
“I come from a family of three children, and I am the oldest. When my brother (the second-born) turned 21, he received a pre-owned car as a gift from our parents, along with a small braai at home. When my sister (the last-born) turned 21 last year, she received a lump sum of cash.
“When I turned 21, I didn’t get much—but I didn’t care then, as my only focus was school. However, my financial situation has not been good since last year. I committed myself to too many financial responsibilities, one of them being the purchase of a house. I could manage, but it’s been harder than expected.
“I reached out to my parents for assistance during a family lunch and assured them I would pay them back, but they told me they were not able to help. They said that, as the oldest, they had already invested more in my education so I could set a good example for my siblings—and that I now needed to figure things out on my own.
“I found this to be very unfair. I’ve never complained when my siblings received things I didn’t. As the firstborn, I’ve always accepted that I’d have to work ten times harder. But I can’t help feeling resentful—not just towards my parents but also my siblings. I wish my siblings would step in and show my parents that their view is unfair, but they’ve been silent.
#TheBlindSpot
— #MothoWaBatho (@tboseZA) April 11, 2025
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