Katlego Sekhu
A listener recently reached out to The Best T in the City with Tbose to share her frustration about being the sole provider in her home.
She explained that her husband has made little effort to find work and has relied on her financially for years.
To make matters worse, his eldest son has moved into her house, a situation she says has made her feel increasingly unhappy and overwhelmed.
“Good day. I’m writing this letter with a heavy heart. I’ve been on deposit – half magadi – for ten years now, and throughout this time, l’ve carried the weight of our relationship alone. The man l’m with depends on me for everything. He only worked for about a year and six months, and since then, l’ve been the one providing for our home, which is in my name. When I ask about finding a job, he always says, “God will guide me.” But in the meantime, I’m the one holding everything together – taking care of him and the children.
“Earlier this year, his eldest son came to live with us, and since then, things have become even harder. I’ve noticed strange behaviour – the son uses muthi – and when I confronted him, he denied it. I asked my partner to step in, but he says that once his son finishes his matric exams, he’ll leave. I’m struggling now; I have nothing more in me to cope until then. I recently suffered from a lung infection, and as someone with asthma, I politely asked his son to stop using whatever he is using because it’s affecting my health. But still, he denied everything.
“I’m tired, Uncle T. l’m tired of being the submissive provider. It’s emotionally and physically draining. I told his father that I think we should end things because he’s not serious about his life or our relationship.
“He constantly asks me for money and expects me to provide for him, yet he contributes nothing. Part of me feels indebted to him because he’s the one who introduced me to the business l’m now running, but deep down, I know I’ve done more than enough. I’ve carried this relationship long past its strength. I’m exhausted. It’s hard, Kunzima. What can I do?
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