Katlego Sekhu

A listener shares that his first marriage ended because his husband was having an affair with her best friend. This broke her to the core, and it took years for her to recover. To add to her woes, her former friend and ex-husband got married.
After some time, she found love again and remarried. Her current husband has developed a close relationship with her ex-husband because of their kids. Now, her ex-husband has invited them to his 40th birthday party and wants to bury the hatchet. However, our listener, who wishes to remain anonymous, is hesitant to attend the party because she doesn’t want to run into her former friend.
Reaching out to fellow Best T in the City listeners, she wants to know if there are any blind spots she could be overlooking.
“I got married young and after 7 years in that marriage and 2 kids later I found out that my husband and my best friend were having an affair. This broke me to the core. I was depressed, took me a while to recover and find myself again. This ended our marriage.
“My ex is now married to my former friend. I also met someone, and we have now been married for two years. Things have been going well in my marriage, but my current husband and ex-husband have become really close. My husband is the contact when my ex wants to arrange for kids’ visits. These 2 have a lot in common, so they relate. I have forgiven my ex for our kids’ sake, but it is still not 100% between us.
“Now, my ex-husband is having a 40th birthday celebration coming up and he has invited us. I have no interest in going because I know I will bump into his wife and family. My husband though is adamant I need to leave the past in the past. He also says it is time I make amends with my former friend because when the kids go over, she helps care for them so she will be in my life forever.
“I just don’t see why I need to be buddy-buddy with her. The next thing we will be having regular visits. I just feel my husband is rushing me to forget the past because of his bromance while I am not there yet. Am I being irrational? What could be my blind spot?”
The Blind Spot
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