I do, I do and I do again - SA's mixed views on polyandry

I do, I do and I do again – SA’s mixed views on polyandry

By Kaya 959 Lifestyle

The debate around whether South Africa should recognise polyandry continues to rage on.

Last week, Home Affairs gazetted a new green paper that could revolutionise marriage laws in the country.

The green paper will effectively allow South African women to have more than one husband – at the same time.

The proposal has been met with mixed reactions from various quarters.

Religious leaders and cultural activists have, however, slammed the idea.

READ: Polygamist Musa Mseleku says NO to SA women having Isithembu

Too taboo

Some called the proposal “taboo” adding that it was of great concern.

A chairperson of a Durban-based Muslim Trust said it could be devastating to families whose cultural values and norms would be destroyed.

He said it would disrupt family structures and destroy children who would have other men often visiting their homes.

“It would never work. I do not think society would accept it,” he said.

Insult to African culture?

Another called it an insult to African culture and women.

According to Dr Velaphi Mkhize of the Umsamo Institute and the SA Healer’s Association, a woman is the root that keeps the family together – at all costs.

He said it has never happened in the past.

“On the other hand, polygamy was an ancestoral gift and not every man can become a polygamist,” he said.

Mkhize said it is a disgraceful debate.

READ: 10 questions couples should answer honestly before marriage

Leader of the African Christian Democratic Party, Reverend Kenneth Meshoe, said if a woman is shared by three men, as an example, and they all want her the same night, what’s going to happen?

“Because there will come a time when one of the men will say ‘you spend most of the time with that man and not with me’ and there will be conflict between the two men,” he told eNCA’s Shahan Ramkissoon during an interview.

Meshoe said South Africans must be practical.

“Now when it comes to men.. imagine being told you are the third man, what’s that going to do with his confidence? This is not workable, this is definitely not workable,” he said.

Some disagree

In response to the Reverend’s remarks, Bonnie Mbuli took to Twitter to share her views.

“The same thing happens when she has one man, she gets to decide who she wants to sleep with at any given time, and anyway women have far more stamina that men so azishe!”

She went on to say South African men were getting hot under the collar on the issue.

“The men are so pressed, kwaaaaaak! Lalela, sharing is caring!” she said with a party emoji.

Debate in Parliament

During a recent hybrid plenary sitting in Parliament, DA chief whip Natasha Mazzone took aim at another MP who said he was concerned that if a woman were to conceive, there would be confusion over who the father was.

“You can imagine when a child is born, more DNA tests will be needed to discover who the father is. The problem is only going to get worse,” Al Jama-ah Party leader, Ganief Hendricks, said.

Mazzone demanded that his remarks be referred to the Ethics Committee.

“He was insulting to every woman in this country regarding the rights of women to have multiple husbands and the rights of men to have multiple wives,” Mazzone said.

She said in this day and age, in the year 2021, to think that a public representative of this country would dare stand up in the Parliament of South Africa and say something like that, is an absolute disgrace.

Written by: Tamlyn

Marriage Act Polyandry Polygamy