Katlego Sekhu
A listener shares that, as the youngest wife in the family she has married into, she feels she is being treated differently.
She explains that she is often expected to take on more chores and constantly feels the need to prove herself.
Although she loves her mother-in-law, she believes the way she is being treated is both unfair and unacceptable.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous wants to know if there are any blind spots she might be overlooking.
“Hubby paid lobola in January last year. We’ve been living in the backroom at my in-laws’ because we wanted to save and get our finances in order before moving into our own space. Things have been going well, and my in-laws treat me respectfully. However, I’ve noticed that my mother-in-law sometimes makes it clear that I’m the youngest makoti.
“My husband has two older brothers who are married, and during family events like funerals or parties, i’m usually asked to go the extra mile, even arrive a day or two earlier to help out when this is happening, even with the extended family. While I don’t mind helping–because I understand makoti duties-in the year I’ve been married, I’ve noticed my sisters-in-law (bo’skwiza) are not held to the same standard. They often arrive when it suits them and sometimes don’t assist at all, yet I’m expected to show up fully.
“One of my skwizas even joked that I must be working hard to be the “number one makoti,” saying she never had to do half of what I do. When I mention this to hubby, he says it’s just that his mom loves me more and enjoys our bond, especially since we live together.
“I do love my mother-in-law, but i’m not happy about being the only one expected to carry the load. I also work and have my own responsibilities. Would I be wrong to start setting some boundaries? Or is this how I ensure I stay in my mother-in-law’s good books? I know being a makoti comes with responsibilities-and I genuinely don’t mind-but it’s starting to feel like I’m working overtime to earn a title. What could I be missing here? Where might my blind spot be?”
To hear the full Blind Spot, listen to the podcast.
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