Katlego Sekhu
A listener shares that she’s been with her boyfriend for about two years, and like any relationship, they’ve had their ups and downs.
She has two sons from a previous relationship, while he has a daughter from his own previous relationship. Neither of their children live with them.
As a single mother, she has made it her life’s mission to provide for her sons. However, her boyfriend feels that she has not been offering the same level of financial support for his daughter.
Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, Anonymous wonders if she’s in the wrong.
“I am a single working mother of two boys. I have been in a relationship for two years, and like any other relationship, it has its ups and downs. My partner has one child with his previous partner, and both of them are unemployed.
“We lived together in his room at his mother’s house while my sons stayed with my parents. His daughter stays with her mother but visits occasionally. All the children attend the same school. I see my kids daily since my parents’ house is within walking distance.
“The main issue is finances. I do as much as possible for all the children, but naturally, my kids’ needs come first since I am a single parent. I also contribute to my boyfriend’s daughter’s needs whenever possible, but I recognise that her mother is still responsible for providing for her as well.
“At the beginning of our relationship, I used to communicate with his child’s mother regarding her needs, but that didn’t go well. She became rude, so I decided to cut communication.
“Yesterday was my partner’s daughter’s birthday, and we didn’t have money to buy her a cake. My boyfriend seemed to blame me for this, saying that if it were my sons, I would have made a plan. I feel this is unfair because I am the one ensuring we have food and supporting his daughter whenever I can. Surely, he and the child’s mother should take responsibility as her biological parents.
“He argues that my kids always have what they need, whereas his daughter’s needs are not always met. This makes me wonder when stepmother/stepfather duties begin and end, especially when you’re not married yet. Am I missing something here? What is my blind spot?”
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