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Sorry, not sorry! Is it easier to apologize or ask for permission?

By: Natasha Archary

Women apologize more than men
Image: Adobe Stock

Women apologize more often than men, studies over the years have found, hinting that most men don’t feel their actions warrant an apology.

Culture often dictates the roles between both genders in relationships and in most African households, the man wears the pants, which may mean he is not required to answer to anyone or apologize for any indiscretions or “wrongdoings”.

Women on the other hand are expected to uphold a certain standard and not do anything to offend their husbands or partners.

Women are also perceived as being the more emotional gender, caring more about how their actions affect their significant other and their family.

This sets the standard for how conflict is handled within the relationship, and when one person is an “over-apologizer” and the other never apologizes, it often sways the power.

Some people don’t require an apology, and others need one to move forward. Apologies are powerful, but remember, words without the promise of a change of behaviour don’t mean anything.

Is it a big deal if women say “I’m sorry” more than men?

It shouldn’t matter who apologizes in the relationship, and if you love your partner and want your relationship to work, whoever says I’m sorry first is irrelevant.

You shouldn’t force an apology out of someone because this will dilute the meaning of the apology.

Timing is everything with an apology and the longer someone waits to say I’m sorry, can be a dealbreaker.

Big feelings

If you’re the type of person who overreacts to situations, it could make receiving an apology difficult.

People may avoid coming to you to offer an apology because they’re worried you will inflate the issue and not accept their apology with sincerity.

Empathy is an emotionally intelligent skill that is difficult even for adults, and empowerment psychologists say that over-apologizing destroys a person’s confidence.

If you’re always the one apologizing, it could mean that you are a people pleaser, and you worry about what others think about you.

It’s a sign that someone has low self-esteem, and poor boundaries because you’re always taking the blame for things you either didn’t do or can’t control.

Listen to the conversation on Drive 959:

Also read: Yes, people are still being scammed by their lover

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