By Zuko Komisa
What are some of the things you need to pay attention to in a partner?
One of the most significant choices we make in our lifetimes is choosing a long-term love partner or mate.
But sometimes it appears mysterious as to why we select the people we do.
We may feel underwhelmed by people who, on paper, ought to provide us with all we want.
It’s a tough decision that requires one to have their eyes wide open from the very beginning.
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Point of View with Phemelo Motene spoke to marriage counsellors Nhlanhla and Magauta Zwane about what to look for in a partner.
LISTEN TO THE FULL CONVERSATION HERE:
Find things in someone that doesn’t fade with time
“We have these minor things that mean so much to us, that is because we are uniquely who we are as individuals. It is important not to overlook them, but it is critical to have firmer things beyond the leg or things that can fade away over time.”
“We all have these deep-seated needs as individuals and usually these needs that we have, we don’t have the capacity to give these to the next person, but we want that person to give them to us.
“We want those people to be vulnerable with us for instance, we want them to listen to us but are not willing to listen to them.”
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Marriage is a dance
“Marriage is a dance, when we are doing the cha cha cha, he goes back, and come to me, when I go back he comes to me. The problem is that most relationships are one-sided, when a relationship is like that, the other person is a project. The problem is that many people don’t know the difference, and it’s important that we learn it.
They also shared different scenarios of what people get wrong in a relationship.
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