Clicky

Parenting: Six going on sixteen

By: Natasha Archary 

Forget every manual you ever read about the “terrible twos”, “terrifying threes” and “fearsome fours”. The parenting tests just get more gruelling. If you’ve ever heard the saying, “six going on sixteen”, you would know that 6-year olds can push your buttons in the same way teenagers do. 

Butting heads

Unlike the terrible twos when toddlers are still trying to find their voice, 6-year olds love the sound of theirs.

What’s more is that he/she will let you know that.

As they assert themselves and set boundaries for interactions, you’ll soon discover there are days your child will want nothing to do with you. Except when he’s hungry or wants a snack, and that’s about as useful as you are going to be to him. 

When they’re six going on sixteen, children are more confident and independent, letting you know that they no longer need you to be at their beck and call.

Expect a lot more head butting and differences in opinion during this stage of parenting.

You’re not alone

Most days are going to feel like you’re out of your depth, drowning in a sea of unfamiliarity. Something Kaya 959’s newest parent Sandile van Heerden is slowly learning. 

“Parenting is one of the toughest things I’ve ever done,” he recounts on an almost daily basis.

Of course, with a newborn, and the lack of sleep that comes along with the territory, it’s understandable that he feels overwhelmed right now.

He’s not alone. At some point, every parent has felt this way as they navigate the parenting realm and take to their role as mother or father. 

Whether for the first time or not, it is still a unique challenge.

Every child is different. They each have their own personality, likes and dislikes, and communicate differently. This means, there isn’t a specific parenting style that will work for all kids. 

Parenting pressure keeps mounting 

Parenting manuals will advise that you walk away from a child who is testing your patience. That you don’t entertain their meltdown because it’s the quickest way to get them to stop. This approach is not advised by child psychologists nor conscious parents who warn that it does not validate your child’s feelings. 

Walking away builds up a zero-tolerance for tantrums and will only cause your child to grow up shutting down their emotions. Because you’re telling them, that you are not going to deal with their emotions. Children then repress their feelings and become teenagers and later adults who do not understand how to process their pent-up anger or sadness. 

Causing major communication challenges and relationship issues as adults. Sound familiar? In an argument with your partner, does one or both of you tend to flip a switch or simply shut down? Forcing the communication to halt by choosing to not engage further. This is exactly what you’re doing with children. 

Think about when you’re in a bad mood or something isn’t going your way. You need to vent, don’t you? To release those feelings. 

Talk through the angst

Having a heart to heart with your determined 6-year old is encouraged. Remember they have a shorter attention span and you may have to repeat your expectations or correct behaviour regularly.

The important thing is that you give them an outlet to express themselves. It’s asking a lot, expecting someone so little to manage these big feelings. Many, still unable to communicate or distinguish between sadness, anger, frustration at failing a task. 

We should be teaching our kids how to talk through their emotions. That it’s okay to feel the way they do but that it’s not okay to say things out of anger. 

Teach them young that words hurt. That doing something in a moment of frustration is not the best approach.

Also read: Parenting – Potty training tips for your toddler

Written by: Natasha



UpComing Shows

DownLoad Our Mobile App

Privacy Policy

THIS PRIVACY STATEMENT FORMS PART OF KAYA 959’S TERMS OF USE POLICY. IF YOU DO NOT AGREE WITH ANY TERM OF THIS PRIVACY STATEMENT, YOU MUST CEASE YOUR ACCESS OF THIS WEBSITE IMMEDIATELY. 

POPIA ActTo promote the protection of personal information processed by public and private bodies; to introduce certain conditions so as to establish minimum requirements for the processing of personal information; to provide for the establishment of an Information Regulator to exercise certain powers and to perform certain duties and functions in terms of this Act and the Promotion of Access to Information Act, 2000; to provide for the issuing of codes of conduct; to provide for the rights of persons regarding unsolicited electronic communications and automated decision making; to regulate the flow of personal information across the borders of the Republic; and to provide for matters connected therewith.

RECOGNISING THAT—

  • section 14 of the Constitution of the Republic of South Africa, 1996, provides that everyone has the right to privacy;
  • the right to privacy includes a right to protection against the unlawful collection, retention, dissemination and use of personal information;
  • the State must respect, protect, promote and fulfil the rights in the Bill of Rights;

AND BEARING IN MIND THAT—

  • consonant with the constitutional values of democracy and openness, the need for economic and social progress, within the framework of the information society, requires the removal of unnecessary impediments to the free flow of information, including personal information;

AND IN ORDER TO—

  • regulate, in harmony with international standards, the processing of personal information by public and private bodies in a manner that gives effect to the right to privacy subject to justifiable limitations that are aimed at protecting other rights and important interests,
  1. Definitions and Interpretation

1.1.“Personal Information” means information relating to an identifiable, living, natural person and where it is applicable, identifiable, existing juristic person, including all information as defined in the Protection of Personal Information Act 4 of 2013. 

1.2  Parliament assented to POPIA on 19 November 2013. The commencement date of section 1Part A of Chapter 5section 112 and section 113 was 11 April 2014. The commencement date of the other sections was 1 July 2020 (with the exception of section 110 and 114(4). The President of South Africa has proclaimed the POPI commencement date to be 1 July 2020.

 
1.3. “Processing” means the creation, generation, communication, storage, destruction of personal information as more fully defined in the Protection of Personal Information Act 4 of 2013.  

1.4. “You” or the “user” means any person who accesses and browses this website for any purpose. 

1.4. “Website” means the website of the KAYA 959 at URL www.kaya959.co.za or such other URL as KAYA 959 may choose from time to time.   

  1. Status and Amendments

2.1. KAYA 959 respects your privacy. This privacy policy statement sets out KAYA 959’s information gathering and dissemination practices in respect of the Website. 

2.2. This Privacy Policy governs the processing of personal information provided to KAYA 959 through your use of the Website. 

2.3. Please note that, due to legal and other developments, KAYA 959 may amend these terms and conditions from time to time.  

  1. Processing of Personal Information

3.1. By providing your personal information to KAYA 959 you acknowledge that it has been collected directly from you and consent to its processing by KAYA 959. 

3.2. Where you submit Personal Information (such as name, address, telephone number and email address) via the website (e.g. through completing any online form) the following principles are observed in the processing of that information: 

3.2.1. KAYA 959 will only collect personal information for a purpose consistent with the purpose for which it is required. The specific purpose for which information is 
collected will be apparent from the context in which it is requested. 

3.2.2. KAYA 959 will only process personal information in a manner that is adequate, relevant and not excessive in the context of the purpose for which it is processed. 

3.2.3. Personal information will only be processed for a purpose compatible with that for which it was collected, unless you have agreed to an alternative purpose in writing or KAYA 959 is permitted in terms of national legislation of general application dealing primarily with the protection of personal information. 

3.2.4. KAYA 959 will keep records of all personal Information collected and the specific purpose for which it was collected for a period of 1 (one) year from the date on which it was last used. 

3.2.5. KAYA 959 will not disclose any personal information relating to you to any third party unless your prior written agreement is obtained or KAYA 959 is required to do so by law. 

3.2.6. If personal information is released with your consent KAYA 959 will retain a record of the information released, the third party to which it was released, the reason for the release and the date of release, for a period of 1 (one) year from the date on which it was last used. 

3.2.7. KAYA 959 will destroy or delete any personal information that is no longer needed by KAYA 959 for the purpose it was initially collected, or subsequently processed. 

3.3. Note that, as permitted by the Electronic Communications and Transactions Act 25 of 2002, KAYA 959 may use personal information collected to compile profiles for statistical purposes. No information contained in the profiles or statistics will be able to be linked to any specific user.    

  1. Collection of anonymous data

4.1. KAYA 959 may use standard technology to collect information about the use of this website. This technology is not able to identify individual users but simply allows KAYA 959 to collect statistics. 

4.2. KAYA 959 may utilise temporary or session cookies to keep track of users’ browsing habits. A cookie is a small file that is placed on your hard drive in order to keep a record of your interaction with this website and facilitate user convenience. 

4.2.1. Cookies by themselves will not be used to identify users personally but may be used to compile identified statistics relating to use of services offered or to provide KAYA 959 with feedback on the performance of this website. 

4.2.2. The following classes of information may be collected in respect of users who have enabled cookies: 

4.2.2.1. The browser software used; 

4.2.2.2. IP address; 

4.2.2.3. Date and time of activities while visiting the website; 

4.2.2.4. URLs of internal pages visited; and 

4.2.2.5. referrers. 

4.3. If you do not wish cookies to be employed to customize your interaction with this website it is possible to alter the manner in which your browser handles cookies. Please note that, if this is done, certain services on this website may not be available. 

  1. Security

5.1. KAYA 959 takes reasonable measures to ensure the security and integrity of information submitted to or collected by this website, but cannot under any circumstances be held liable for any loss or other damage sustained by you as a result of unlawful access to or dissemination of any personal information by a third party. 

  1. Links to other websites

6.1. KAYA 959 has no control over and accepts no responsibility for the privacy practices of any third party websites to which hyperlinks may have been provided and KAYA 959 strongly recommends that you review the privacy policy of any website you visit before using it further. 

  1. Queries

7.1. If you have any queries about this privacy policy please contact us by emailing [email protected]