Kaya 959 Reporter
The importance of presenting the best version of yourself in a relationship or a marriage can not be understated.
It is very crucial to do an introspection of your internal issues before making a life-long commitment to your partner.
Through doing this you allow the experience of marriage to be fruitful and you are also able to easily notice your own flaws when they surface in your relationship.
If you don’t heal, you might repeat the same romantic mistakes that hurt you in your previous relationship. You might even pass down the hurt by bringing a child into a toxic relationship.
Point of View with Phemelo Motene recently had a conversation with resident life coach Lebo Pule, who broke down why it is important to first find healing before getting married.
Listen to the conversation here:
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Pule shared how she once found herself in a speaking engagement where she had to speak to a room filled with men and women who were about to enter marriage, it is here where she realised the topic was important to share.
Knowing the role a relationship plays in your life
She says what she realised was that there is no space like a relationship when it comes to openness about past traumas and unresolved emotional issues.
Pule says the reason relationships are so traumatic is because many people don’t know that they are also a great place for healing.
“In spiritual spaces, they say that relationships are there to make you conscious, and not necessarily happy… “
“In psychology, they refer to relationships as being a place of growth, where you can only grow to be the best version of yourself so that you are the best version for your partner in a relationship. There is no other space that can give you that,” says Pule.
Why going through your own healing process first matters
Pule encouraged Kaya 959 listeners to make sure they find healing first before they jump into a relationship. She also explained that healing is a journey and that it takes a while to completely heal.
She gave advice on what it means to start the healing process.
“It’s great to do your own healing first before you enter into a new relationship because through the healing process the relationship becomes pleasant. But if you haven’t healed, the relationship will teach you and show you some of the issues…”
“What we mean about healing is that you need to heal as much as possible before a relationship. Be as self-aware as possible about some issues that may and will come up in relationship spaces.”
“Because you know these issues, you are better equipped to say there’s my greedy head rearing its ugly head, there’s my victim mentality and so on…” says Pule.
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