Kaya 959 Reporter
A breakup or divorce is one of those things almost every person goes through in life and it can get very confusing.
Breakups are complicated, as are the emotions that accompany them.
It is important to mentally prepare yourself for a rollercoaster of emotions that can alter from day to day or hour to hour.
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Point of View with Phemelo Motene spoke to Magauta and Nhlanhla Zwane who are marriage counsellors shared some tips on what not to do immediately after a break-up
LISTEN TO THE FULL CONVERSATION
Magauta spoke about the importance of getting through the first few weeks of a breakup or divorce.
“One of the biggest mistakes that people make after a breakup is to keep open lines of communication, between you and the person you are walking away from.”
“You typically see this with couples with “peaceful divorces”, in real life amicable separations don’t exist, it’s all an illusion.”
“One of the things I advise people is that in the beginning, stay away and avoid calling this person. When you do this you are going to be creating unnecessary fights, and people may not understand what I am talking about.”
“Over time the other person will blow up. In the beginning, there’s still a lot of turmoil. Where possible, try and find people that will help the two of navigating those first few weeks.” she says.
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Nhlanhla said it is vital to be very clear where you stand with someone as some people aren’t sure they are divorced.
“Some people are not sure that they are divorced, for them, it is not here and it is not yet a reality. They say maybe he will change, especially the one who really doesn’t want the divorce,” says Nhlanhla.
Magauta and Nhlanhla encouraged Kaya 959 listeners to be willing to seek assistance from a trained and experienced mental health practitioner and to understand that counselling takes time and helps clients make more informed decisions.
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