By: Natasha Archary
Midday Joy listeners were touched after a listener emotionally reached out to Unathi about her abusive marriage.
Sharing her pain with Unathi, the listener mentioned that she had been crying for days because her husband’s verbal abuse had taken a toll on her.
To make things worse, it was her birthday and she was left feeling inadequate, broken and unworthy.
“Hi sis Unsta, my story is that it’s my birthday today and my heart is so sad. I am married to an alcoholic who verbally abuses me. He’s been abusive to me since yesterday and I’ve been crying since. And it’s my birthday but I’ll be alright,” the woman shared.
The voicenote ended with the caller in tears which left an otherwise cheerful Unathi with her voice breaking.
Pausing to take a breath before responding Unathi reminded the listener, “Today is your day. No matter what that man is doing to you on your birthday on your day, out of 7.9 billion people, you were made today. I pray that you find yourself and that your happiness resonates and it does so loudly. Whatever questions you need to ask yourself, do so. Because no human being needs to feel this way on the day they were created and graced us on earth.”
Listen to Unathi’s powerful message to the woman here:
Emotional and verbal abuse often goes unnoticed because many still think it’s not abuse unless it’s physical. However, emotional and verbal abuse can have both short-term and long-lasting effects that are just as serious as physical abuse.
The use of insults and threats are attempts by an abuser to control, isolate and scare you. Experts suggest that physical abuse is what follows because abusive behaviour progresses.
You may be experiencing emotional or verbal abuse if someone:
- Wants to know what you’re doing all the time and wants you to be in constant contact
- Demands passwords to things like your phone, email, and social media and shows other signs of digital abuse
- Acts very jealous, including constantly accusing you of cheating
- Prevents or discourages you from seeing friends or family
- Tries to stop you from going to work or school
- Gets angry in a way that is frightening to you
- Controls all your finances or how you spend your money
- Stops you from seeing a doctor
- Humiliates you in front of others
- Calls you insulting names (such as “stupid,” “disgusting,” “worthless,” “whore,” or “fat”)
- Threatens to hurt you, people you care about, or pets
- Says they’ll call the authorities to report you for wrongdoing
- Threatens to harm himself or herself when upset with you
- Says things like, “If I can’t have you, then no one can”
- Decides things for you that you should decide (like what to wear or eat)
Several Midday Joy listeners were affected after the listener’s message:
Also read: Don’t stay for the sake of the kids