By: Natasha Archary
Striking a balance between understanding friend and strict parent is a trick many parents have mastered. There is a fine line between discipline and punishment as a parent and what works for one child may not work for another.
Parenting methods have changed over the years, with the advent of technology, new laws against corporal punishment and a more liberal approach to breaking generational curses influencing how parents raise their kids.
Growing up in a different time however, may have meant that parents used stricter or harsher methods of discipline.
Discipline through the ages
New age parenting has more restrictions on the parents than ever before.
- Don’t hit your child
- Don’t yell at your child
- Don’t give your child too much affection
- Give your child more freedom
- Don’t be so hard on your child
Sound familiar?
Raising children to be adults we can be proud of
Most parents think that if a child fears you that equates respect. That could not be further from the truth.
Respect is a two-way street. What does it mean to build a relationship of respect between parent and child?
It means that the language of respect isn’t taught by preaching the analogy of respecting one’s elders. Children learn by assimilating action and a strong role model.
Researchers Hal Holloman and Peggy Yates studied respect and how it’s translated through the words we use.
In their research, found in the Journal of Positive Behaviour Interventions, what they learned is not surprising.
When we give respect, we get it back in return. In respecting children and teenagers, they learn to believe in themselves as well as you, the parent. Basically children feel valued and loved and in return, parents feel valued and loved.
Listen to the conversation on Kaya Drive:
Does establishing a bond based on respect mean that we now allow our kids free reign? Absolutely not. Many parents feel guilty for saying no too often with their kids.
Children need a firm foundation. Rules, routine, a firm hand, an abundance of love and affection does not ruin a child.
Raising children to understand that a firm “NO” is a boundary they cannot cross is not a bad thing.
If you want your child in bed at a certain time, you set the tone.
“No. You really can’t watch another episode of “Paw Patrol”. It’s bed time. No discussion. I’ll read you a story, but you have got to get some sleep.”
“No. I’m not giving you another popsicle. You’ve had enough sugar for today. You can have some water instead.”
It’s going to take some getting used to. But they do need to learn that a no every now and then, is not the end of the world.
Also read: Is a big age gap between partners still an issue?
