By: Natasha Archary
Whether you’re married with kids or you share children with your long-term partner, there comes a point in life where you may find yourself at loggerheads. The relationship isn’t what it used to be. One or both of you may be taking the other for granted, communication wanes, lack of respect becomes the norm and you’re constantly arguing or there’s cheating.
If this is your reality and it’s happening with the kids present, you need to ask yourself one very important and sobering question: “Now that the love no longer lives here, do I stay?”
The answer may not be what you’re expecting and to be fair, not every situation can be managed the same way. But if a toxic environment and a loveless relationship is your reality, it may be time to call it quits.
Where there’s children involved, mothers have an innate need to protect their children. It’s a quality ingrained in their DNA from the birth of their precious babies. Leaving a destructive relationship however, may not be easy for many moms who stay in toxic environments because they feel there’s no way out.
Listen to the conversation on Drive 959:
Signs the love no longer lives here
- Communication
You’re not discussing issues that arise as it happens, when it happens. You both sweep things under the rug to keep the peace but when it all becomes too much for either one of you, you blow your top. You keep things from each other, stop disclosing important developments or arragements. You’re basically just tolerating one another.
- Verbal, emotional, physical abuse
Abuse in any form is unacceptable. No one is expected to tolerate it and no one should. If you are in an abusive relationship, it’s not doing you, your partner or your children any good by sticking it out. Abusive relationships just follow an endless cycle…calm, abuse, apology and repeat.
- Disrespect
Neither party feels the need to explain whereabouts, social interactions and both fail to disclose important info. There’s a blatant disrespect about what you do, what your interests are, what you want to do and vice versa. Respect is the foundation of a good relationship, if it’s lacking any attempts to build a sustainable partnership is null and void.
- Infidelity
There is nothing that spells toxic relationship more than a cheating spouse. A cheat has something innately flawed within that compels them to continue on a path of destructive and hurtful behaviour. They don’t see anything wrong with their actions and expect you to tolerate the behaviour and will probably tell you that you won’t find better than them. Not true, you deserve more.
- Love lost
It pains you to admit it, but you no longer find yourself in love with your partner anymore. Yes, you will always love them but there’s a huge difference between loving and being in love. You have fallen out of love with them and realise this may have happened a long time ago.
Gone are the days where the stigma of divorce stains a family name. If a woman chooses to leave a toxic relationship and wants to rebuild her life, then who are we as a society to judge her? And rebuild, you will!
Also read: The importance of intimacy in marriage
