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  • keyboard_arrow_rightUnderstanding your child’s love language

Understanding your child’s love language

Dohne Damons

One evening, as the sun cast a warm glow over their Soweto neighborhood, Thando found herself wondering how she could improve her bond with her daughter, Naledi. She has a great relationship with Naledi, but Thando believes that she can strengthen the bond by understanding what makes her feel loved.

“Naledi,” Thando began, “I’ve been thinking about how much you mean to me and how special you are in my life. But I want to make sure you always know this. Can you tell me what makes you feel loved the most?”

A little confused, Naledi gave it some thought. Then her eyes lit up and she said, “I love it when you take me to the park and we play together. And when you hug me and tell me I’m your star, it makes me feel really, really special.”

Thando’s heart swelled with emotion as she listened to Naledi’s words. By asking and taking the time to listen she understood Naledi’s love languages: quality time, physical touch, and words of affirmation.

Love languages can help foster a strong and loving bond between parents and their children.

Here’s how love languages might manifest in the parent-child relationship:

  1. Words of Affirmation: Parents can provide verbal affirmation and encouragement to their children. Praising their efforts, acknowledging their achievements, and expressing love and pride through words can make a child feel valued and loved.
  2. Acts of Service: For parents, acts of service might involve doing things for their children that make their lives easier or more comfortable. This could be helping with homework, preparing meals, or assisting with chores.
  3. Receiving Gifts: Giving thoughtful gifts can also be a way for parents to express love to their children. These gifts don’t have to be extravagant; even small tokens can convey care and attention.
  4. Quality Time: Spending quality time with children is crucial. Engaging in activities they enjoy, having meaningful conversations, and showing undivided attention can make children feel loved and cherished.
  5. Physical Touch: Physical touch remains important in parent-child relationships as well. Hugs, cuddles, and other forms of physical affection can provide a sense of comfort, security, and connection.

Andy asked you what you thought your child’s love language is and this is how you responded:

Now Read: Embracing a gentle approach to mental health recovery

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