By Wanique Block
Dating for potential generally means that you fall in love with the potential that your partner has, and not who they currently are.
So essentially when dating for the potential that one exudes, you’re often fixated on trying to develop and elevate your partner with the hopes of reaping the benefits of your efforts in the future.
All of which is under the guise of “believing in them”.
This may be great, but what happens when you don’t get your fairytale ending and your so-called partner becomes the dream man or woman for someone else?
Feel Good with Andy Maqondwana asks listeners if they have ever dated for potential and discusses the benefits of being a Bob the Builder in relationships.
One listener expressed her grievances about how she received the shorter end of the stick when she tried making a project out of a man.
“Andy you are going to touch a lot of people in the wrong places! Mamela! A lot of us are project managers. We take on those projects that we think we’ll get a return on investment. Only to find out very late in your life that you were preparing them for the next transitional phase of their lives”, she said.
Another listener, called in to hilariously express how she was done dirty by her partner:
“I was a project manager, about 10 years ago, I met this guy who is my ex-husband. I met him when he was wearing shiny suits like KK (from Muvhango). And I showed him “Hai Darling, this is how we dress”. I fixed him, only to find out I was fixing him for someone else”.
Based on these takes, it may be best to let go of the Bob the Builder persona and actually date someone who is independent and can motivate themselves. You are not that man’s mother, you are his partner, so just keep it at that.
For more on this conversation listen to the Feel Good podcast with Andy Maqondwana below:
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