Katlego Sekhu
A listener seeking advice shared that she and her husband have been married for nearly ten years and have three children together. She recently started her first job, and balancing work and parental duties has been challenging for her.
Her mother-in-law suggested that the kids come live with her so that she can focus on her career. While this seems like a practical solution, she is worried that it could have negative consequences since her kids will be living away from her supervision.
“My husband and I have been married for 8 years and we live with our 3 boys aged 7, 5 and 3. To be honest, it is hard work. I recently started working from being a full-time mother. Now we are feeling it. So, my husband’s mother suggested that we send our boys to live with her or to my mother’s, to help with the load.
“Now, we are still fairly young and still love going out, and I think this is a cool idea, especially coming from my mother-in-law. But should we go with her suggestion? Aren’t we relegating our parental duties? What price are we going to pay later, when the boys are teens?
“Hubby and I love our social life, but we are parents now, and having kids is taking a toll on our marriage. Hubby says we should take the offer and use it, but he can’t decide which side they must go on, the paternal or the
maternal?“The mother in me feels we are prioritising being social, and living single while being married, over parenting our children. And should I not endorse this, I am the one who will be overloaded, with work, kids and
homework. He is busy managing our events and catering business, which keeps him very busy.“I don’t want a stranger raising my kids, so having a nanny is out of the question, I’ve seen how they badly treat children. I’d rather give that money to either of our mothers.”
Anonymous
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