Katlego Sekhu
Anonymous finds himself in a difficult situation after uncovering that his wife has been engaging in financial cheating. Their agreed arrangement involved him covering major expenses while she was responsible for smaller costs like groceries and children’s clothing. However, behind his back, she has accumulated significant debt through loans, leaving him torn between extending a helping hand and allowing her to face the consequences of her actions.
“I recently found out that my wife has been financially cheating on me. We are not married in community of property, and our arrangement is that I pay for the big expenses in the house, such as school fees, the house, and the cars, and she covers groceries and the kids’ clothing. However, I realized that my wife has been struggling every other week. She would ask me for petrol money and even ask me to cover the groceries. I didn’t mind because she is my wife, and I will always step in when she needs help. But I could tell that something had gone wrong.
“I have consulted her, and my wife has taken multiple loans from friends and even from loan sharks. When I asked her what she needed the money for, she couldn’t give me a clear answer. All in all, her debt is over R50,000. I can help her, but I feel that I shouldn’t because I’ll be encouraging her and she won’t really learn her lesson. I mean, she didn’t use the money for anything at home. Only God knows what she has been using the money for, so why must I stress myself? Am I being too hard on her, Uncle T?”
One listener, drawing from personal experience, suggests that uncovering the underlying reasons behind the financial infidelity is crucial. “My ex-husband hurt me a lot. From credit cards, personal loans, and overdrafts. I would advise the guy to get to the root of the matter and find out what that money was used for. So that you can decide and figure out if this has the potential to happen again. From that point of view, you’ll decide if you’ll help her or not.”
Another listener resonates with Anonymous’s hesitation to offer help, emphasizing that their existing agreement already entails him covering major expenses. “I mean, there is a deal in place that he’ll cover all the major expenses; if anything, he is being too generous. She didn’t even use the money for anything in the house. She handled this thing on her own, and the guy must not help out with the debt”, said the listener.
Another viewpoint emerged, focusing on the impact on their children. While not condoning the wife’s actions, this listener suggests that Anonymous should prioritize helping the kids despite his wife’s behavior.
Listen to the full discussion on The Best T in the City:
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