Zuko Komisa
“My stepchildren are trying to lawula me” – The Blindspot.
We are all aware of the negative effects of family dynamics when one partner is neglected in favor of the children: the relationship deteriorates. In a similar vein, children suffer when we ignore them in favor of concentrating on a new partner.
Anonymous reached out to the Best In the City with a Blindspot, saying he has a serious issue with his stepchildren who are against his new partner coming to their late mother’s house.
He needs advice on how to balance not excluding and marginalizing his new girlfriend as a result of the instability, with all of the attention going toward the children.
“Uncle T, my wife passed away three years ago. We didn’t have any kids but she came into the marriage with two kids from her past relationships. Before she passed away, she asked that I don’t throw the kids out our house and I assured her that will never happen. So, I have been living with the kids who are now 18 and 16.
Early last year I met an amazing woman and things have been going well. I took my time introducing her to the kids but three months back I finally did the intro, and it wasn’t too pleasant. The kids were visibly not happy. They have now told me that they don’t want another woman in their mother’s house, and they also feel I moved on too quickly.
Things are so bad even my wife’s family has gotten involved and have gone as far as threatening my girlfriend. My girlfriend has since given me an ultimatum, it’s either her or the kids. ‘m in love with my woman however my wife pleaded with me not to turn my back on her kids, and I gave her my word. However, the kids are beginning to disrespect me and so I am thinking of getting them a townhouse and a live-in nanny. Will I be wrong? What could be my blind spot?”
Anonymous
Kaya 959 listeners shared their wisdom on how he should navigate his situation:
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