Katlego Sekhu
A listener shares that since she and her husband got married two years ago, she hasn’t seen her in-laws once.
Every time she raises the issue, her husband simply responds that he was “just checking in” and insists the visits are brief and unimportant.
The couple plans to have children, and Anonymous says she would like them to have a relationship with their paternal family. She now wonders whether her husband might be hiding something from her, or if there are blind spots she may be overlooking in the situation.
“My husband and I have been married for two years now, and the last time I set foot in my in-laws’ place, in Venda, was when they welcomed me as makoti. The very next day, my husband and I left – and I haven’t been back there since.
“He visits home often, but never takes me with him. His usual excuse is that he’s “just checking in” and won’t be long. This really bothers me. I’ve always wanted to build a relationship with my in-laws. I lost my parents at a young age, and one of the things that drew me to my husband was the strong family structure he has. I admired it – and still do.
“We plan to have children one day, and I want them to have a bond with their paternal family. But how will that happen when I, their mother, don’t even have that connection myself?
“Would I be wrong to start visiting my in-laws on my own? Or is my husband trying to shield me from something I don’t know? This situation is making me feel insecure, and I’m starting to question myself. What could I be missing here? What’s my blind spot?”
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