Katlego Sekhu

A listener shared that her relationship started off well, but her boyfriend’s reluctance to move out of his mother’s backroom has become a setback.
Although he has promised to pay lobola, she questions how he will support a family while still living at home.
Now, she’s considering leaving the relationship but fears her decision might backfire.
“I’ve been dating this guy since 2021. In the beginning, things were good-we used to plan trips together and split everything 50/50.
“After two years, I told my boyfriend that we should both move out of our parents’ homes and find our own place to rent. He didn’t take me seriously, so I went ahead and moved out on my own. I made it clear that he shouldn’t come visit me because he refuses to grow up and become independent.
“He keeps saying he wants to pay lobola for me, but I asked if that means I’d be expected to live with him in his mother’s backroom. I feel like my partner is stingy-he earns double what I do, and yet he still chooses to live at home. This frustrates me.
“I’m starting to lose interest in him, but I’m scared to leave because the “bedroom Olympics” are great. I’ve always heard women say that men who live in backrooms are dangerous, and I’m starting to feel that way too. But then again, I wonder if I’m just being impatient. What could be my blind spot?”
Anonymous
#TheBlindSpot
— #MothoWaBatho (@tboseZA) March 28, 2025
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