Katlego Sekhu

A listener shared that her boyfriend recently answered his calling to become a pastor. While her partner has always been a churchgoer, he is now more serious about his faith than ever before.
However, with this new role, he has asked her to change her lifestyle to align with the expectations of the church. As all eyes will now be on him, he feels it’s important for her to adapt accordingly.
However, the listener is unsure if she is cut out for this new lifestyle and finds herself torn between staying in the relationship or walking away.
“My boyfriend and I started dating three years ago. He is big on church. Unless there is a really good reason, it is a known fact that he goes to church on Sundays. In December, he told me that he was ready to heed his call and become a pastor. I knew my man loved church but never thought to this extent.
“After he told me this, we didn’t really talk much in detail, but last weekend, he sat me down and explained that he was serious about becoming a pastor. This means he will have to pay lobola soon, but there are conditions.
“My person told me that I needed to change my whole lifestyle; I would no longer drink, wear shorts, or go out late at night. I will also have to be a full-time churchgoer. He also clarified that he would have to end the relationship if I didn’t want to make these changes.
“From the get-go, it was clear that my man and I were complete opposites. He always allowed me to be and accepted me for who I am. I love my man, but I don’t know if I am cut out to be Mamoruti. For my man, I want to change so we can go on this journey together, but I feel like this is a huge sacrifice.
“I am 35 and have no kids. I know this man can give me the life I have always wanted, but I can’t imagine my life just being about church. Must I let go of my man, or is it time for me to grow up? What could be my blind spot? I am running out of time.”
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