Katlego Sekhu
A listener shares that when he started dating his girlfriend, he was unemployed, and they agreed that he would stay home and take care of the kids.
He believed all was going well until a recent incident where she emasculated him.
Now, Anonymous is questioning whether their relationship can truly work while he remains a stay-at-home dad. Reaching out to The Best T in the City with Tbose, he wants to know: Are there any blind spots he could be overlooking?
“I’ve been unemployed for years, and when I met my girlfriend three years ago, I never hid the fact that I don’t work. After three months of dating, she asked me to move in with her and her two kids from a previous relationship. Soon after I moved in, she became pregnant.
“I’ve essentially been a stay-at-home partner while she’s been the breadwinner — I cook, clean, and care for the kids, a role I embrace. She even gives me money, and until recently, things seemed to be going well.
“A few weeks ago, my uncle passed away. I assumed I could borrow her car and drive home for the funeral, but she refused — and wouldn’t even give me taxi fare. I felt hurt, disrespected, and belittled. My mother eventually sent me money, so I was able to go, but since then I’ve wondered whether my girlfriend enjoys the power her income gives her over me. I used to think we had a good arrangement, but now I’m doubtful. Maybe she sees me as her ‘toyboy.’
“Was I naive to think women would be open to being breadwinners while men stay home? I thought this set-up would work in today’s world. We both agreed that I shouldn’t look for a job, so that we can have a balanced life, more so for the kids. I am considering looking for a job, even though I love being there for the kids. Or is that a knee-jerk reaction? What could be my blind spot?”
For the full conversation, listen to the podcast.
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