Katlego Sekhu

A listener recently reached out to The Best T in the City with Tbose to share her dilemma. After taking a year-long break from dating to focus on personal growth, she reconnected with an ex-boyfriend.
While he understands her love language and shares a similar vision for the future, she struggles with physical attraction.
The listener is caught between giving the relationship a chance, hoping that physical attraction may develop over time, or waiting for someone who ticks all the boxes, including physical compatibility. She wonders if she’s being too superficial or if it’s essential to have both physical and emotional attraction in a long-term relationship.
“I dedicated this year to dating and not pressuring myself into a relationship. I’ve been talking to a few guys, and things have been decent but not exceptional. About a month ago, a guy I briefly dated in 2019 reached out.
“Honestly, I’m not physically attracted to him. He’s not my usual type. However, he understands my love language, sends good morning texts and calls, is always present, and genuinely wants to see me. He’s just perfect in those aspects. It’s the physical attraction that was the issue back then, and it’s still there.
“One thing’s for sure: we align on most things. He doesn’t have kids, like me, and he’s eager to get married and start a family. The other guys I’ve been talking to aren’t as keen on marriage and already have children.
So, Uncle T, can love grow over time?“Should I overlook the physical attraction and focus on the qualities that make me happy? Or am I settling for something less than I deserve? Could my blind spot be that I’m prioritizing physical attraction over emotional compatibility?”



