Katlego Sekhu
A listener shares that he and his wife are expecting their first child together.
His wife wants their gynaecologist to be a close friend of theirs—specifically, a male friend in their social circle.
While he understands his wife’s desire for someone familiar and trustworthy during her first pregnancy, he admits feeling uneasy about another man, especially one they know personally.
He’d prefer a female gynecologist if the choice must be someone close to them.
“My wife and I recently got the news that we are expecting our first child. We are very excited, as we have been trying for some time now.
“This past week, my wife told me that she would prefer we use her friend’s husband’s services—he is a gynecologist. Since this is our first child, she feels we need someone we trust and can rely on.
“I am not comfortable with this. This guy is our friend, a guy I hang out with from time to time, so I feel uneasy. I also don’t think I am insecure because I don’t want a guy I hang out with to know those parts of my wife.
“I told my wife that I don’t like the idea for the reasons I mentioned and that we should find a female gynae or someone neutral, but she is not really keen.
“Is this where she needs to be the only one comfortable? Is this the part where I need to accept that ‘we are not pregnant,’ but she is? Am I overthinking this whole situation?
“If I go along with this, I feel it will shut me out; knowing me, I’ll withdraw, and I don’t want that. I want to be there every step of the journey. What could be my blind spot?”
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