Katlego Sekhu
A concerned listener shared that his wife spends a lot of time at her parents’ house, leaving him feeling neglected. Despite his best efforts to communicate his concerns, she hasn’t made any changes. In an attempt to resolve this issue, he is considering relocating with his wife and children. However, before making such a big decision, he wants to ensure that he isn’t overlooking any blind spots.
“My wife always goes to her family on weekends. If we don’t have plans, I know that she will be taking the kids and visiting her family. I told her several times that I don’t like how she always goes home on weekends and barely spends time with me. What’s worse is that if she doesn’t go home, she will fetch her mother and sister to come and spend time at our house.
“I have spoken to my father-in-law, who also says he has cautioned my mother-in-law and my wife about this, but they also don’t listen. At least, had she tried to balance the visits by visiting my side of the family as well, maybe I would understand.
“I recently got a job offer in another province, and as much as I love being in Gauteng, I need to save my marriage, and the only way to do that is to move away. My wife doesn’t work, so she will have to move with me, and we’ll have to find another school for the kids. Would it be selfish of me to take this job offer and move with my family? Is there a blind spot here that I could be missing?”
One listener, who’s been in a similar situation, counsels the husband to take his family with him.
“The gentleman would not be selfish if he were to take the job offer and move with his family. Having been in a similar situation, it is very difficult for a girl child to detach from their mom, even when they are married. When the mother aids the girl child, it makes it far worse. But I take my hat off to the gentleman for trying to keep his family together.”
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