Katlego Sekhu

A listener recently shared that she has been in a long-term relationship with a married man. Sadly, his wife passed away last year, and now he wants to make her his new wife.
However, she’s not interested in getting married and doesn’t know how to tell him. She reached out to The Best T in the City with Tbose for advice, wondering if there were any blind spots she could be missing.
“I have been in a relationship with a married man for the past three years. Unfortunately, his wife passed away in December after being involved in a car accident. I have always known my place in his life and things have been good between us. I was shocked and saddened when I
found out his wife passed. I supported him from a distance.“Last week he sat me down and told me that he would be sending a letter home as he wants my hand in marriage. Now, I have never wanted to be his wife, I have been okay with us just dating. He is a good man, but he is much older and tends a busy man. I am happy with what we have but I don’t know how to tell him I don’t want to get married, not just to him but in general marriage and kids have never been things I wanted. He does have kids, one in university and a young one in high school.
“I know our relationship may have made him think this is something I would want now that his wife is late, but it is the kind of stress I don’t want. I care about him but being his wife would mean so much has to
change in my life. I asked him to wait a bit as he is still mourning but he is adamant this marriage should happen ASAP.“I feel as though he just wants control as he takes care of me financially and obviously, I don’t want to lose these perks. I know for a fact that even if we get married, I will cheat on him as the bedroom business is not 100s. Would I be wrong to suggest that he finds someone else to marry and we will just continue as we have?”
Anonymous
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