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‘Can something completely harmless about your partner genuinely become an ick?’ – The Blind Spot

Anonymous is torn between accepting her boyfriend’s constant, harmless singing and fearing that this annoying quirk is a dealbreaker she cannot tolerate for the rest of her life.

By Zuko Komisa

Image | Adobe Stock

Anonymous is grappling with whether a harmless, joyful quirk can genuinely become a dealbreaker or if it signals a deeper disconnect in her relationship.

She deeply cares for her kind, affectionate boyfriend of one year, but his constant, compulsive singing ranging from everyday chores to solemn events like funerals has given her the “ick” and left her dreading public outings.

Torn between accepting his musical nature and fearing she cannot spend her life “living inside a musical,” she worries that voicing her frustration will make him self-conscious about an intrinsic part of who he is.

“Uncle T, I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year, and I really like this man. He’s kind, funny, affectionate, and we get along really well. But I’ve discovered something that is giving me the biggest ick: This man sings ALL THE TIME.

Cooking? Singing. Driving? Singing. Getting dressed? Singing. Looking for his keys?

Somehow there’s a soundtrack. At first I thought it was cute and he actually has a good voice. But now I’ve had enough. At his friend’s birthday, he ended up leading a song. At a wedding, same thing. His sister tells me even at funerals he’ll sometimes be the first person to start a hymn.

There is always a song. The worst part is that I’ve started watching him at social gatherings, almost waiting for it. The moment he starts, I sit there thinking, “Please … not again.” But he hasn’t actually done anything wrong.

He’s just a very musical person. I’m scared that if I tell him, I’ll make him self-conscious about something that is naturally part of who he is. But I’m also wondering whether I can spend the rest of my life living inside a musical. Uncle T, can something completely harmless about your partner genuinely become an ick, or is this telling me something bigger about how I really feel about him?

-Anonymous”

Kaya 959 podcasts are available to download.

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