By: Natasha Archary
A whopping 8 trillion texts are sent every year. With 33% of people preferring texting to any other form of communication, a text is the most used mode to keep in touch for people under the age of 50.
With online dating apps gaining momentum as a more convenient way of sifting through any dating potential, your texting prowess whether non-existent or strong is going to be tested.
Before you get your thumbs warmed up for a bit of online screen bashing, remember that revenge porn is a “thing”, as many women have had their assets exposed by men they once rejected.
Is there a way to keep the dating life interesting without any risk?
There’s no surefire way of ascertaining what will or won’t send a dude over the edge. Or woman for that matter. One day, everything is all hunky dory, the next you’re looking on in disbelief as your entire Whatsapp conversation has been screen-grabbed and shared on social media. Or worse, private pictures you trusted them within the moment.
Once it’s out there, it’s eternally digitized onto the tangled web of the online realm. That said people are experimenting more freely now than ever before. Thank you “fifty shades of all things kinky.”This isn’t to say that people were prudes before, just that they’re a lot more open to the idea of exploring other avenues in that department.
The idea of sending a text may sound like no big deal but not everyone is comfortable or knows how to come across as sexy via text. It requires a bit of skill, imagination and visual stimulation to get the person on the opposite end of the screen aroused and engaged.
When in doubt don’t. With many people signed in on multiple dating apps, the possibility that he/she may be conversing with other people simultaneously are high. One of the dead giveaways is when you’re left on reading. Yes, we’re all busy but we are also programmed to now check our smartphones at two-minute intervals.
You are not guaranteed a response but when sexting, you’ll want to keep the momentum going. The last thing you want to do is tease relentlessly and not take things further than the initiating sext. If you’re planning on sexting, free up some time and actually be involved.
Sexting can be fun. With video calls on most chat apps today, you may not even need to send a provocative picture of you delicately exposed. Do keep in mind that you can screengrab off video calls.
The knack of sexting is to first get to know the other person. Check the temperature, feel out if it’s something they’re interested in, there are some who are not, for those who are – where do the boundaries lie.
Sexting can’t be forced much like sex. When you’re trying too hard to get it going with someone who’s not keen it’s just going to end with both of you frustrated and swiping onto someone else.
Play it casual, with simple, short and texts that are a little evasive. Women hate the generic, “So what are you wearing right now?” question that men tend to open with. Do we need to be wearing something sexy in order for you to turn us on via text?
No would be correct. But, yes sexting is a game of the minds, so keep the responses flirty and infused with innuendo and you should be fine. This is not the time to focus on you. To really get the sexting off the ground, you’ll need to be creative and keep the limelight on the other person.
Emoji’s help to get a point across and there are a few that are known as the “naughty” emojis. Just don’t resort to a sexy chat using only emojis. Women are said to be less visually reliant when it comes to being turned on. According to a study on the female orgasm, hearing what their partner finds hot during or before sex is more likely to trigger her climax.
Online faux pas
If you are sending nudes or snapping below the belt, don’t include your face. There may be other ways of identifying a person, tattoos, scars, piercings etc. but it’s safer than you baring all and becoming the next headline meme on social media.
Try not to give it all away via text. Some people get off on the sexts alone, others don’t. Sexting should not be the only form of intimacy between you two. It’s either the build-up or the highlight, never the focus. It’s great to keep long-distance love going a little longer but at some point, you’ll need or want physical contact.
If you haven’t had sex with the person before, do not sext them to initiate sexual intimacy. That’s sleazy, lazy and gives your game away. Use sexting only when you have established a rapport with someone.
There are many ways of keeping your relationship firing on all cylinders and we’d love to hear what works for you. Share with us by tweeting @KayaFM95dot9 using the hashtag #KayaOnline.