Kaya Drive: Whatever happened to traditional dating?

By: Natasha Archary

In a world full of Tinder profiles and hookup culture, whatever happened to traditional dating? Talking about the differences between “macking” on someone back in the day vs now, Sizwe Dhlomo and team break down how dating has changed.

What does this mean for those still holding out for traditional love and finding someone organically?

Wed 16:07:55 to 16:24:25 Kaya FM 95.9

Realistically the odds aren’t that great with most people preferring the discretion of online dating apps to secure hookup.

Thanks Richard Gere and Julia Roberts for setting the relationship bar rom-com high.

Swiping left gives one carpal tunnel

There’s nothing remotely romantic about swiping left or right on an app whilst browsing thousands of profiles. Although there are feel-good stories about couples matching and hitting it off online there’s nothing traditional about the process.

Drew Barrymore’s character in “He’s Just Not That Into You” summed up dating in the technological era so poetically.

She reminisced about the days people had one telephone number and things were uncomplicated.

Instead, now, we have to go around checking different portals to find out if someone has left us a message. Only to be rejected by seven different technologies or blocked.

There’s also something so vain about online dating. The wrong profile picture could get you rejected before they’ve had a chance to read your bio.

A pretty face does not necessarily mean a witty personality coupled with a sense of humour or, more importantly, intellect. Nor does a six-pack pay tribute to his emotionally stable side.

Modern day dating is daunting, scary and intimidating. Embellished profiles, retouched pictures, false check-ins. It’s like a portal into the dating under-belly where it’s every heart for itself.

Cat-fishing and creepy online stalkers are just the tip of the virtual dating iceberg.

Do people meet organically anymore?

Granted, some find conventional dating intimidating. One thing technology has done is given us a confidence we wouldn’t normally have tapped into in real-life.

It’s safe in that, you don’t have to venture outside of your comfort zone and actually meet with someone. You’re free to just chat via text until you’re ready to meet. Or you continue your online ‘relationship’, propose via Skype and live in virtual bliss for the rest of your lives, until WiFi do you part.

The thing is your online persona is unlikely to be an exact reflection of who you truly are.

We embellish, fabricate, creating an illusion of a life well-lived by carefully thought out social media posts. We tend to withhold the best of ourselves to fit in and follow the norm instead of going on an actual date with someone.

Online dating is popular because it’s convenient and you don’t have to fork out on a real date. You don’t have to invest in someone you’re not into and it’s a matter of moving onto the next attractive profile.

Yes, there’s pretence on a first traditional date as well. People rarely go as they are and will opt for the best dress in their closet or finest sneakers to impress. Isn’t that part of the first impression and initial attraction?

Think of it as your profile picture in high definition. A traditional date offers you a better opportunity to interact with the person in a natural setting with the added advantage of physical contact.

Physical contact!

Something we seem to be rapidly moving away from in a bid to live our lives behind the screens that seem to hold our very existence. Has traditional dating lost its appeal altogether?