By: Natasha Archary
When you get married, your spouse’s family are now yours. There will be good days and then there will be times of difficulties and family disputes. Do you intervene in your in-laws problems is what Sizwe Dhlomo and the Kaya Drive team wanted to know, and the unanimous answer from listeners is a resounding NO!
Maintaining a healthy relationship with your in-laws is important for the sanctity of your marriage.
While many felt that having a relationship with your in-laws is important, out of respect for your spouse it may be best to know your place.
Sizwe Dhlomo shared that there are some matters that do not warrant involvement from a spouse.
“There are some matters where as a spouse you don’t involve yourself in when it comes to your in-laws. Things like inheritance, bloodline issues, funeral arrangements, stay out of it,” Sizwe shared.
His views were shared by the rest of the team who echoed that intervening when you weren’t asked to can just cause more friction.
It’s important to respect the boundaries that your spouse has set when it comes to their family and honour that your presence may be welcome but your voice may not be.
Dealing with in-laws family politics:
Problems come and go and your in-laws will resolve their issues but may be resentful towards you if you crossed a line. If you’re not married to your partner but have been in a long-term relationship, it goes without saying, you simply do not get involved.
Marriages are challenging enough without further complications and relations with in-laws have been known to sever ties between spouses. Coming between your spouse and their family is never a good idea and can only end badly.
Your role within your spouse’s family has it’s limitations and you’re only as involved as they would like you to be, so keep that in mind. Be there for your partner but give their family the time and space to manage matters without you.
Other factors include family dynamics and core values as well as their belief system. All of which you don’t want to disrupt.