By: Natasha Archary
Is the issue of accepting a gift from an ex that big a deal? Kaya Drive with Sizwe Dhlomo received a request from a listener who shared her dilemma with the team.
The listener who wished to remain anonymous shared that her ex sent her a gift after many attempts at trying to reconcile their relationship which had passed its expiration date.
Naturally, the team were split on this contentious topic with the girls against the guys in this heated debate. Both Sandile and Sizwe felt there was nothing wrong with accepting a gift from an ex and didn’t see the need to break down the hidden meaning behind said gift.
The ladies however thought it was inappropriate and misleading to accept a gift from an ex especially if you have made it perfectly clear that you will never be getting back together.
Contrary to popular belief, many couples part ways amicably and are capable of maintaining a completely platonic friendship post the relationship. Just because two people are not compatible romantically does not necessarily mean that they should throw in the towel on any kind of relationship.
There are cases where married couples who divorced have remained friends and are actually better off as friends than they ever were married.
Some of the other reasons from both Keneiloe Huma and Tyroline Franks were that accepting a gift from an ex gives them the wrong impression. The person might feel there’s still a chance at reconciliation if you accept the gift.
However, a gift is just that, a gift. The hidden meaning behind it or a person’s intentions thereof are not for the recipient to decipher like a code. Accept the gesture for what it is. If the person feels winning you back is as simple as gifting you something, then that denial is on them, not you. You cannot control another person’s intentions or misguided notions and unless you indicate that you are interested in reconciling, accepting a gift is not a commandment that you have to get back together with the person.
Often people approach relationships with a textbook view, without analyzing that some behaviour patterns such as overthinking and obsessing over things you do not have control over are not healthy.
Here’s how Kaya Drive listeners weighed in on the topic:
Lol! Well… (Nothing wrong with accepting the gift, what if is a gift I really like?) I am not usually the bitter ex, relationships breakups hurts a little lol 😊 yes but I don’t get upset, so nna I would take the gift weather i want him back or not. #KayaDrive @SizweDhlomo
— Gladness Moila (@GeestoneRSA) August 23, 2021
— 👑 Palesa Stevens 💫 (@Palesa_Stevens) August 23, 2021
She didn’t ask for the gift. He knows he is trying to woo her back using the gifts, he knows it will either work or not. He will stop gifting once he knows it’s definitely not working. #kayadrive @SizweDhlomo @KayaOnAir
— Nyenyedzi (@m_racs) August 23, 2021